Mouth of Madness


Saturday, August 11, 2007

It's a dirty job, but...

Whew.  It's freaking hot. 

I'm sitting here, nursing a 22 ounce Bud Light, which, according to a past boyfriend, makes me a slut.  Or something to that effect.  He used to work at a convenience store, and he remarked once that you could tell the slutty women by their purchase of 22 ounce beers.  Based on some of the women I saw buy them when I was loitering around there, I might have to say he had something there.  So I'm slutting it up here at home alone watching Dirty Jobs.  So, if sluts drink 22s, and I'm a slut, and I'm watching Dirty Jobs, does it follow that all sluts watch Dirty Jobs?  Or does Dirty Jobs cancel out the 22, kinda like Diet Coke cancels out a cookie?  Am I a slut, or not?  Don't answer that.

Anyhoo, I spent a good part of the day trying to find myself a replacement for the little S10 I rolled.  It was less than fruitful, I must say.  It's pretty hard to find a truck that's less than 5 years old under 10K, which is what I have budgeted myself to.  I found some nice ones, but I'm too big of a chicken to wedge myself into a higher payment.  What good is a nice new truck if I can't afford to go anywhere in it?  Nawmeen?

Car salesmen really annoy me.  Which is why last night The Boychild, The Girlfriend and I went window shopping after everything was closed.  Dude, this is the way to go.  Of course, most of them weren't priced, but you could get a nice look at them, and decide if you were interested without some salesman haggling you.  At this one lot, they were even unlocked!  We had a lot of fun poking around in trucks, as well as some phat ass Mustangs. 

At any rate, back to the annoying salesmen.  Look guys, I know you're out to make a sale, and will basically tell me anything and hang over top of me until you break me down.  But let me fucking breathe, alright?  Sure, I'm a girl, but I'm not stupid.  Besides, I had my team with me.  I played "The Buyer".  The Boychild was "The Intimidation."  The Girlfriend was "The Eater of Souls".  And "The Girlchild" was "The Bitch". 

The first place we went has the most annoying commercial ever.  They call themselves the "Price Police".  *rolling of eyes*  There have been many a time that I nearly peed my pants when their commercial came on the radio, because I was *cough* speeding and their obnoxious "Price Police" siren started blaring through the speakers, and I nearly ran off the road looking through the rear view mirror for the 5-0.  Anyhoo, I think that the "Price Police" are actually customer snipers they have on the roof of the place, because as soon as we got out of the car, we heard a loudspeaker, which instructed a salesman to come to the lot IMMEDIATELY.  Since all the trucks had prices, we made a quick sweep before the dude could lumber the football field distance out to us, and were back in the car and off.  I'll tell ya this much - their prices were way less than lawful.

The next place was my favorite, not because they had anything special (they had nada) but because I totally owned the sales dude.  He was trying so hard, payment this, blase blase.. and he said he thought they could beat my bank.  I said, "Can you beat 6% interest?"  He looked like a little boy who just found out Santa wasn't real.

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful, and I'm contemplating something crazy, so... yeah.

Peace out, crakz.


Posted at 8/11/2007 11:29:44 pm by Rowan

The Girlchild
August 14, 2007   12:45 AM PDT
All hail Rowan, Queen of Sluts.
August 12, 2007   03:40 AM PDT
Haha, i'll tell ya what gets me when i drive by the "Price Police" the car they have with the sirens and theyre always going, so I see the blue lights and im like ohhh snap....then i realize thats it just that....

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